we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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