remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This house was built for laser tag.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
