Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
