You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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