I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
