Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
