I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Congratulations! We have a period
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
