If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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