omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed