Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
His nipple licking is glorious
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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