rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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