Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
