I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
