i think my mom watched the whole time
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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