We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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