office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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