i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize