Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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