my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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