I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
