We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
