i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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