one might say we're banned from that church
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
