Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
