Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
