You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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