So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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