Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
