I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
