walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
