i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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