You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
