My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
