Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
