I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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