she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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