i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
