This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
