just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
