I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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