What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
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you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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