Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
vagina is talking i cant
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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