I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
