Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
