I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
