you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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