Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving. http://tfl.nu/twkc
  Replies (36) Good night (3100) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx
  Replies (76) Good night (28059) Bad night (1901)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list. http://tfl.nu/2ara
  Replies (129) Good night (2974) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere. http://tfl.nu/ddqg
  Replies (9) Good night (1833) Bad night (2741)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day. http://tfl.nu/nryu
  Replies (6) Good night (2603) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice. http://tfl.nu/ciw3
  Replies (5) Good night (2261) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams. http://tfl.nu/awr2
  Replies (5) Good night (1896) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious. http://tfl.nu/2u5k
  Replies (5) Good night (2610) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen. http://tfl.nu/m4h2
  Replies (9) Good night (1571) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!! http://tfl.nu/7xwk
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College http://tfl.nu/y7mj
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor. http://tfl.nu/8do3
  Replies (0) Good night (437) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off. http://tfl.nu/rnkc
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone http://tfl.nu/gqya
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I think so and I think we were sober.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream? (1-607): I think so and I think we were sober. http://tfl.nu/6esa
  Replies (2) Good night (749) Bad night (347)

Randomize