i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later