Your face is a jimmy john
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
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I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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