It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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