Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
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She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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