I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
