she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize