they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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