her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
