I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
