well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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