The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize