I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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