At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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