just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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