Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
