bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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