I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Rumble strips road head = magical
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
