your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
