Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
