Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My breasts were aching with rage.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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