that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
