Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
