For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
