She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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