Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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